“Trying” to play my violin….screeching sounds! Yikes!!

I noticed another place I was trying…in performance, have you noticed that when you are “performing”, and as we know: performance happens everyday, not just with a theatrical play or musical instrument that you tighten your neck and shoulders, “trying” to do it right?

When you are talking with someone, and you have the floor to speak, you are “performing”. Are you “trying” to get the message you are speaking about “right”. Remember “trying” and “getting it right” (is there a “right?”) equals tension in your body!

So with the violin, the instrument lets me know right away when I “try” to get the right note by tensing my jaw, my feet grab and pull away from the floor, and my shoulders, elbows and wrist lock up.  Oh my, what a screech comes out of the instrument….hello, you are “trying” too hard!

Check out your performances this week and see when you are tensing around your performance; speaking, singing, playing tennis, golf, even when you are doing something by yourself, your “self-critical” thoughts will be judging your “performance”.

We are such amazing beings…why not take away from some of the “doing” and bask in “being”!

 

OK, have you been noticing your “trying” part?

Last blog, I talked about how much we want do things “right”.  And I am always curious about what “right” is?  Is there truly a “right” or something in our belief or experience that we interpret as “right”.  Something to ponder, hmmmmm.

I noticed the other day as I was picking up my tea mug, that I was griping it like there was no tomorrow; my forearm, wrist and shoulder was tensing as well as my jaw (clenching my teeth) – was that “trying” too hard to hold my mug “right”?  So I gradually lessened the grip, little by little, at first I noticed my jaw loosen, then my shoulder (it was pulled up towards my same side ear); then slowly, upper arm, forearm and wrist.

So, a very everyday occurrence for me to have a cup of tea or coffee, and if I don’t notice what I am doing, I continually over grip the cup, and my body suffers.  Is it helping me hold the cup?  It is probably a long standing habit of mine, maybe way back as a child I dropped a mug and was scolded and from then on realized I must really grip it or it will drop and break.

Let’s take a little inventory of how you hold your coffee mug, or a broom, or OMG the vaccum handle (that is another whole blog!)and see what you do that is unneccessary and with gentleness to yourself, do less…do less…do less; enjoy ease and freedom!

Watch the video to the right of this blog…can you see trying there??

Are you trying too hard? Isn’t that how I get it “right”?

For alot of us there is a strong relationship between trying to get something right and excess muscular tension. When we try to do something, whether it be writing a email,  being on time to your daugher’s school play, or even exercising with so much muscular tension that you wear out your joints or end up with arthritis.

The next time you’re trying hard to get something right see if you’re tightening your shoulders or neck, clenching your jaw and , or holding your breath? These are some of the many ways “trying” shows up in the body.

Our work recognizes that most people sacrifice their physical well-being in order to achieve their goals or “get it right”.  Is there a “right”? Or is “getting it right” a personal measurement of how I show up in the world.  We call it “end gaining” or  going for your “end” by trying to hard at the expense of your body.

Stay tuned….I am going to give you some suggestions of how to “know that you are trying too hard”